Relationships are HARD

Let’s see if I can condense the last 8 months or so right quick so I can get on to what’s really on my mind here.

The beginning of this year brought with it life in a new home and one hefty divorce.

Shortly after my divorce, I was attempting to update an online dating review I’d done years ago on Yahoo Personals. While updating the review, I was forced to create a profile just to get in to test the waters out to see if everything functioned like it did back then. It did not – so the profile was a good thing.

Because the profile was new, it was not visible and approved, so I shut down and went to bed thinking I’d finish up the next day.

The profile went visible sometime in the night and the next day I had over 30 responses.

I immediately hid my profile – because I was nowhere near ready to date – really.

There was one though. One that caught my eye because he was so close to where I live. He had to know people I knew and I thought it might be nice to find a male friend to hang out with while I’m processing my divorce.

We met, we liked, we dated.

Flash forward to present day…

I have trust issues! Big. Time.

I doubt it has a thing to do with the fact that I have been married twice to men who managed to cheat on me right under my freakin nose.

As the result of these trust issues, I feel as though I keep pushing A away or at least driving a wedge in between something that could turn out to be a really wonderful thing.

So what’s a girl to do when she can’t stop over thinking and over analyzing?

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