According to Ashley Madison, 50 to 60 percent of men will engage in an affair outside of marriage at some point in their lives. The reasons and excuses are endless, but the signs of propensity for infidelity are usually the same.
Signs he’s about to have an affair?
- Once quiet, he becomes a storyteller. He never leaves the house without an alibi. Frequently lies about the women he spends time with. Hasn’t cheated yet, but clearly preparing for the day he does.
- Feels Trapped – He’s not even sure what happened. One moment he was happy with simple daily togetherness, next he feels caged and resents the lack of freedom. He may be terrified that if he stays in the current relationship, it will be the last person he ever has sex with.
- Rather than condemning friends for cheating, he finds reasons to justify their actions.
- Develops relationships with other women. He seeks out sympathetic women and tells them of his crumbling relationship or marriage. Emotional affairs are only a couple of drinks away from a full physical affair.
- He keeps girlfriend or wife a secret – When he speaks to other women, he neglects to mention he’s in a relationship or married.
- He has sexual thoughts of being with other women. When the mind starts to wander, it’s only a matter of time before the body follows. Often unable to perform with their partner without imagining she is someone else.
- He relaxes the moral code and begins encouraging an open relationship (at least on his part). He may suggest threesomes, try to convince you that monogamy is overrated, or that very few creatures or cultures for that matter are monogamous, why should he be?
- He searches for arousal elsewhere. He becomes incredibly drawn to porn or strip clubs. He’s simply not aroused by you anymore. Maybe he misses the spontaneity, the feeling of falling in love. On the rare occasions the two of you still have sex, he simply goes through the motions, rushes through or avoids foreplay altogether.
- He becomes curious and starts exploring what opportunities might be out there. He checks out websites designed to meet his needs to cheat. MILF’s looking for an affair, lonely wives looking to cheat, the cries for NSA attention on Craigslist, etc. He begins searching names of old flames so he can recall the hot steamy sex they once had. It’s like watching mental porn where he’s the star. The women might be less attractive than his partner, but they have that new girlfriend smell.
- He turns up the charm, collects phone numbers, secretly emails. He kicks up his bathing and grooming habits a notch or two. He’s using old pickup lines but with new confidence. This time he has a secure relationship to fall back on.
- He begins placing himself in situations that make it easier to meet women. He begins making up excuses to work late, shops alone, joins clubs or the gym.
Do these signs sound familiar? These subtle, and often progressive changes in personality, actions or words could indicate a developing plan to cheat whether he realizes it or not.
It’s important to remember that any relationship worth saving can be saved through open, honest communication. Affairs, regardless of how tempting they may be, have the potential destroy relationships and those in them. Once trust is broken or lost, it can never be regained. And the process (or attempt) of regaining trust can be exhausting at best.