When my kids were little, it was very hard to not harbor resentment but I was determined to let my kids develop their own opinion. At Christmas time, especially, I see a lot of people using their kids as pawns. The long term damage that can have on a kid is very real. Just because 2 people can’t get along doesn’t give one the right to deny the other their own right to be a parent.
Dr. Schwartz discusses the long term impact that playing games with your ex has on your children. This information is based on actual cases of kids who grew up being pawns.
There was a time when I believed that a lack of child support was grounds for me to deny my ex his right to visitation. I was wrong.
The law states that both parents have the right to be a part of a child’s life. If child support is an issue – that’s a matter for family court – not one to be battled in the home.
When you act as though the other parent is bad or evil, the child will grow up feeling as though they are because they are bad or evil too.
You are far better to just support your child as best you can – never put down the other parent and let the child grow to see with their own eyes and hear with their own ears – from that, they can develop their own opinion, which also gives them a certain confidence because you allowed them that gift of being their own person.
When it comes to the other parent – hate them all you want, but at one point, you loved them enough to create a child with them. It’s that connection that you should focus on when discussing or acting out in ways that involve the other parent.
Focus on raising your child to be the best person they can be and trust in your ability as a parent to guide them through the times they are away from you. But don’t ever put your child in the middle of a battle between you and your ex.
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