Why Barbie is to blame for my lack of coffee

You know it’s going to be a very long day when you wake up and your coffee supply does not exist!

And of course I’m a girlie girl who refuses to leave the house without a shower, eye makeup and lipgloss!

I know… sounds silly… But on those days when I just want to forgo the shower, walk with leg stubble, sleepy-looking eyes while pondering and experimenting on just why men like to scratch their asses so much, I hear the little voices of some very “influential” women from my youth saying “If you don’t look good for your man, someone else WILL.”

Is that NOT the worst? ARG!

See, I have this umm thingthis fearthis phobia – that if I leave the house looking less than presentable I will run into someone who knows my man.

And since I’ve had this rule from day ONE, that I (me, MOI) remain the best looking one in THIS relationship! Period! I’m. Not. Leaving!

We all KNOW as men age, they become distinguished.

When women age, they get old and have to compete with the younger, gold-digging women whose only aspiration <sarcasm> is to look like Barbie. And most of them get to because they are young, have more energy, harder bodies and are more uhem, flexible which somehow makes a man want to open his wallet and spend, spend, spend.

So There – Barbie is to blame for my lack of coffee! If anyone has a problem with it – take it up with Mattel cuz today – my giveadamn is busted.

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