Can You Find a Serious Guy?

Dear Coco,

What is wrong with single men? I want a relationship that leads to marriage and kids, and at 34 I can’t afford to waste my time. Am I just really unlucky or do men stop their mental development after they get out of high school? They often want sex without a relationship (something I never do), or they are too busy with their careers. What do I have to do to be taken seriously? I haven’t dated a guy longer than a month in over three years. Is it possible in this day and age to find a man who wants to get serious?

End of my Rope


Dear Rope,

Take a few deep breaths. Your anxieties are turning you into the dating equivalent of a circus freak; it’s no wonder the men run screaming. If you want them to stick around you need to lighten up in a major way. Quit husband-hunting!

That’s right—all thoughts of wedding receptions and seating charts and monogrammed napkins are heretofore forbidden. Ditch the rules and make a decision to date for fun only. Do not think of trying to turn the men you date into husband—or even boyfriend-material; simply focus on whether you enjoy their company on that particular night. Date as many of them as you can at once, but if they ask if you want to go steady, shake your head wistfully and say, "You know, it’s not a good time for me…" You will seem fun and cool and perhaps slightly tragic, as though nursing some mysterious and impenetrable wound. Guys will desire you all the more, and one of them will fall in love with your freaky, circus-lady self.

Reprinted with permission via Match.com

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