There's no denying how painful a break up is. No matter how long the relationship lasted, the fact remains that coping after a break up can be very difficult. You will feel a roller coaster of emotions — anger, pain, revenge, hope, relief. The effects of a breakup are almost the same with every person but they vary based on how the person reacts and handles the consequences.
When you love someone so much, he becomes part of your system. When you're single, you do things on your own but, when you get into a relationship, you let him in to your life. This is why separating ways get too painful. The process of detaching him out of your system can take quite awhile. Here are ways to help you survive the 5 stages of a break up.
Denial. He tells you that it is best for both of you to part ways. The first emotion to hit you is shock. Is he serious? But you've been the best girlfriend that you could ever be for two years, he could not be serious! It takes time for things to sink in. Believing that things are finally over does not happen in an instant. At some point, you would hope that he takes back everything that he said. But when he starts to pack his things and you find yourself alone every night, the misery sinks in — you are alone and you are no longer together.
Anger. Once you realize that your relationship has ended, anger starts to take over. How dare him dump you for another woman? You cook him dinner, you do his laundry, you walk his dog every day — how dare him do this to you? You've invested too much time and emotions in your relationship — only to be dumped?
Bargaining. After intense anger, you start to bargain. Okay, he ended the relationship. You know that you are over. You have a lot of questions waiting to be answered. You are still angry. But, you can't deny the fact that you're still madly in love with him. One night, you call him up and pop the big question – can we give ourselves a second chance?
Revenge. He says no — there is no second chance. For the second time, anger sets in. But this time, it's not just anger, you want revenge. You want him to hurt as much as you do. The "revenge" strategies may vary from one person to another. Some women would opt for a hair cut, get made-up just to see the it's-your-big-loss look on her ex's face. Others get into rebound relationships in the hope of making their men get jealous over their new found love.
Acceptance. Among the 5 stages of a break up, acceptance is when you come to terms with peace of mind. After a few weeks or months, you were able to look at the brighter side. It still hurts so bad but the break up gave you the chance to become a better person and focus in your career.
You can find thousands of advice on how to get your ex back on the Internet. But the only way to get over a broken heart is to believe that you can. Dealing with the 5 stages of a break up can be tedious and very painful. But, sometimes, you won't realize that you're strong until the only option that's left is for you to be strong.
Author's URL: http://www.copingbreakups.com
To Learn more about coping with a break up, visit The Magic Of Making Up and meet the author of the book where this article was based. He has tremendously helped a lot of people in dealing with break ups and divorce.