David Zinczenko from Mysteries of the Sexes Explained presents his argument of four reasons of Why Men Cheat – and while I can ‘understand’ (but not agree with) reasons 2 thru 4, I have to admit reason one is a DOOZY!
Ok, before I even attempt to go where David Zinczenko did, let’s visit reasons 2 – 4, shall we?
Reason 2 – To Get Attention (duh!) – I thought it was common knowledge that people cheat because they are heat seeking attention hounds? Yeah, yeah, perhaps sexual frequency has slowed a bit at home, but do men EVER stop to think of just WHY it’s slowed? David goes on to agree that there are plenty of men out there who are getting IT regularly at home, but in the end, it’s not about the sex and cheating so much, as it is about the ”woman who showers the man with flirtations, with seduction, with advances that make him feel like he’s worthy of more than just fixing dents in the drywall.”
I’d like to present the SAME argument – different twist – Why is it so difficult for men to shower their women with flirtations, seduction and advances that make HER feel like she’s worthy of more than whipping up something in the kitchen or wiping the kids runny noses? NEWSFLASH – Women LOVE attention too!
Reason 3 – To Get Out! – Ok, this one hits the nail on the head. So many people (not just men) are wimps when it comes to telling their partner they’re just not happy and want out. So off they go to commit the ultimate kiss of death for any relationship. It’s an easy way out, and there’s a lot less guilt attached – because most likely – that person is NEVER going to want to talk to you again!
Reason 4 – To Change Up His Play List: Ok, this guy is a caveman! – David says – “Think about what’s on your iPod. You have your favorite songs you play over and over, but every once in a while, you’re in the mood to hear something you haven’t played in a long time. You don’t need to hear it but once every month or so, but still, you appreciate the changeup. Relationships need to be like good iPods lists.”
I’m sorry, but relationships are NOTHING like iPods! They take a lot of work! More often than not, people have said that being IN and supporting a Successful relationship is the most difficult of challenges they’ve ever faced. But it’s also the most rewarding.
Now, although number 4 kind of blew me away, Reason 1 pushed me over the edge:
To Fulfill His Biology: “You know the old anthropological tale. A man’s main job, besides killing the saber-tooth, is to spread his seed in order to ensure the survival of his genetic legacy. It’s a man’s biology to want to wander. Does that mean he should, or that he can’t help it? Of course not. But it does mean that a man is going to have strong-extremely strong-biological urges to knock on the doors of neighboring huts.”
To fulfill his biology my ass! It sounds like a lame and easy argument that women are expected to take in order to forgive their man for parking their boots under someone else’s bed, once in a while.
Hogwash! It’s also a woman’s biological desire to be wanted, needed and loved.
Men expect women to keep their monthly urges, to kill small furry creatures, under control, well, I expect men to keep those “biological urges to spread their seed” under control.
Have some thoughts you’d like to share?
* this article is from my articles archive – originally written in 2007 – edited and updated for publishing as new